This column article written in February, 2001.
You walk up to the train in peak hour, backpack with your books on your back. You're hurting badly and your legs feel wobbly and weak. But you look okay. You look like a normal mid-twenties female with a backpack and blue jeans. You're disabled but it doesn't show. Welcome to the world of invisible disabilities.
You get on the train. All the seats are taken by business men reading the paper. You know you can't stand up on the train for the 5 stops you need to travel. But how do you do it? I must admit I have resorted to sitting on the floor in trains because I was too shy/frightened to ask for a seat. But my recommended procedure would be to go to somebody looking fairly approachable (ie: not the pregnant woman or the old man who's talking to himself!) and say something along the lines of, 'I know I look okay but I'm disabled and I need a seat, would you mind?'. If they ignore you, and you're still feeling brave, then tap them on the shoulder and say it louder! I find that after this even if your chosen subject doesn't offer you a seat, somebody else will. It does take guts though.
The other way around happens too, if you have a seat and you're the youngest and healthiest looking person in the carriage and an old lady gets on with her shopping and everybody glares at you to get up and offer her your seat and you just can't do it. Your disability won't allow it. Simply say, 'I'm sorry I can't offer you my seat, I'm invisibly disabled.'. People can try to make you feel guilty for this, but just because somebody wants to give you a guilt trip doesn't mean you have to take it.
Another neat strategy I have heard about but never tried is to make up a pamphlet, sheet or business card. On one side, put some medical-sounding terminology about what's wrong with you, "This patient has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Fibromyalgia and Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy". On the other side put "The person carrying this card is unable to:" and a list of things you can't manage, for example "standing for more than 2 minutes", "walking more than 50 meters" and anything else you can think of. Once you have these show them or give them out to people in situations when you need your disability recognized. Giving a piece of paper is often easier than talking about your problems.
Don't get me wrong, this stuff can be hard! Invisible disabilities aren't widely recognized and taken into account yet, so each invisibly disabled person must become a sort of ambassador for all people with IDs. Helping each other educate the community. It might take a few years, but I hope they'll learn. Each one teach one.
