This column article written January, 2001.
An experience that I had, and wrote about, during 1998 when I had just come out of a rehabilitation hospital. I can no longer walk two blocks, or even one, but the experience is still relevant.
I have to walk two blocks every day. It's part of my physiotherapy. It's hard work and it hurts, but I enjoy the chance to get out of the house and do something 'normal'.
It's almost the only time when I'm out I don't use the stick (actually it's a single elbow-crutch), my physio wants me to practice walking without the support to make sure I don't get too used to it. Other times I take the stick ... partly to lean on and partly so people around know I'm not good on my feet. That way I get to sit down in trams, and I don't get knocked over so much.
I enjoy not taking the stick. It makes me feel ever-so-slightly illicit - that I'm pretending to be normal and if I stumble or fall I'll be found out and thrown back with 'the sick people'.
This morning I went down past the University. There's not much choice when I can only go two blocks, and I like the book shops there. I'd got past the University and associated book shops and was heading back, so I was probably getting even slower than my usual snails pace. When I'm tired, I have to concentrate where my feet go or I'll trip over a crack in the footpath.
At the corner there's a crossing - lights and everything, a proper pedestrian crossing - so I wait for the lights to change. There were a bunch of people waiting, including a lady with a pram and a bunch of University kids. The lights change and we all set off across the road.
By the time I make it to the other side of the road, everybody else is long over and there's a car waiting for me to get out of the way so it can turn the corner. The car's full of teenagers smoking. One of them leans out the car window and says, "Hurry up, b*tch."
As if I'm walking slow just to hold him up.
It really hurt to hear that. But ... he doesn't know I'm handicapped. How could he? No stick.
But still ...
It hurt. I was trying so hard.
