All about my new name in six, er seven, er eight questions.
Question 1: Just give me the short answer, I don't have a lot of time here, and time is money, okay?
Okay. Short answer:
- Known As: Ricky
- Current Legal Name: Ricky Buchanan
- Previously Known As: Bek Oberin
- Previous Legal Name: Rebekah Joy Oberin
Incidentally, why are you in such a rush? Try slowing down and smelling the roses.
Question 2: Why was your original name ("Rebekah") spelt so weird anyway?
Okay, so it's not a frequently asked question, but it's got an interesting answer so I'll make it a Frequently Given Answer instead :).
The name on my birth certificate is actually "Rebecca Joy Oberin", not "Rebekah Joy Oberin". So I guess that makes this the second time I've changed my name! I'm a person of extremes. The spelling of Rebecca/Rebekah was changed when our class studied Christianity in year three and my teacher brought in a huge family bible, I couldn't help but notice when we got to the story of Rebekah-by-the-well that the name was spelt with a "kah" instead of a "cca" and I thought it was beautiful and wanted it straight away!
I went home and asked my Dad what I needed to do to change my name and he explained about writing letters to school and relatives and everybody else I know and how terribly hard it was. Silly Daddy. Of course, I did it, so at the end he helped my by notarizing the statutory declaration where I said I'd changed by name, which was all you needed back then in 1983, none of these fancy forms and stuff!
Question 3: Why do you change your name so much anyway? Aren't names supposed to stay the same?
Who says names should say the name? Big Brother is just a bad TV show now, and the Gods I believe in (I'm Neo-Pagan, if you happen to care) have never indicated or told me they didn't like me changing my name. My family doesn't like it much, but they never gave me any actual reasons for not liking it.
It's my personal opinion that your outside name should match the name that your feel fits you best, and if this means change your name - then so mote it be.
There are some cultures (or perhaps "were", I'm unsure if they still exist) where at birth a person is given a "child name" and then when some certain thing happened - I don't know what it was but things to spring to mind would be the things that trigger off any other rite of passage, for example: reaching a certain age; beginning, reaching a certain stage of, or finishing puberty; or marrying. When whatever the "trigger event" was reached, then the "child name" is discarded and the new adult chooses their own adult name.
I happen to think this is a much more sensible idea than the parents of a newborn baby choosing its name. How can they know what the child will turn out like? What name will fit the man/woman/other when they reach 21? The only answer, of course, is that they can't. And sometimes names just "happen" to fit but how many times is this because the child grew to fit the name, or we changed our "idea" of what the name meant to fit what the child became? Why not have a smallish set of names specifically for small children. Names without strong connotations or anything, and encourage the children to choose different names and "try them on for size" during their puberty time, before they decide on a final name or names (however many they want, even!) on (for example) their 18th or 21st birthdays and a Naming Ceremony is held, where the child is declared to have become on adult named so-and-so.
I know, it's a sort of weird idea from our western cultural standpoint, and I certainly never expect it to happen (at least not during my lifetime) but I like thinking about Weird Ideas so ... well, there you go.
Question 4: Why "Ricky"?
I like it. It's androgynous. Meaning you can't tell from hearing the name if I'm a boy or a girl. I love doing that to people. Besides, it sounds nice.
Question 5: Why "Buchanan"?
Buchanan is my maternal grandfather's family name and he's my Pa who I wrote to lots when he was in his nursing home before he died. I did and continue to love him intensely and dearly. Buchanan is also the name that my Aunty Helen used most of her life - although not now - and so I associate it with both my favourite relatives/mentors and also think it's a cool name.
Question 6: How did you actually make the change, though?
I was in hospital at the time (I seem to spend half of my life in hospital, lately :/) to have my pain meds adjusted ... again ... and become good friends with another chronic pain patient in my 4-bed ward who was also young (although older than me), and we were both getting pain meds adjusted we were mostly just lying there bored and hurting, so I started taking my wheelchair over to her bed and we started talking.
It was odd, we had so much in common and we ended up liking each other so much we are friends still. That means this would have been the summer of 2001-2002. Anyway, one night I mentioned to her that for a long time I'd wanted to be named "Ricky Buchanan" and she said something along the lines of, "No time like the present, welcome Ricky!" and gave me a big hug! And from then on the only time I use my old name is with my family, especially my grandparents, who have got too used to the original name; and on official papers that needed my legal name before I had it changed legally.
Question 7: What's your Pen Name?
A "pen name" is a name used for a person's writing. For example Susan Kennedy uses the pen name "SARK" and is famous under this name.
I kept using "Bek Oberin" for a while after I changed my legal name to "Ricky Buchanan" to try to avoid confusing people. People got confused anyway. So, since I'm in the middle of changing domains from tertius.net.au to notdoneliving.net I may as well update the "author" field!
Henceforth, I'm listing all my writing as having been done beey "Ricky Buchanan". But yes, I'm still the same person who wrote the Open Letter To Those Without Fibro/CFS and all the rest of the Fibro/CFS Foothold stuff!
Question 8: Where's the rest of this FAQ?
I think it's finished, Grasshopper. Got any more questions, leave them in the "comments" bit at the bottom and I will probably answer them if you manage to get the spelling and grammar at least more-or-less correct :).
