"But I CAN'T Meditate!"

Meditation is generally considered to be A Good Thing, especially for those who have some sort of chronic illness, and there are now several studies that show assorted positive effects from regular meditation.

Meditation tends to lower or normalize the blood pressure, pulse rate, and the levels of stress hormones in the blood. It produces changes in brain-wave patterns, showing less excitability [...] Meditation also raises the pain threshold and reduces one's biological age [...] In short, it reduces wear and tear on both body and mind, helping people live better and longer.
-- Bernie Siegel, 'Love, Medicine and Miracles'

Sounds like a good thing, right? My psychologist thought so too, and suggested I take it up. He suggested it quite a lot of times, actually, and I kept trying it out and finding that it just wasn't working ... either I'd fall asleep while doing it, or I'd end up feeling tireder than when I'd started. It seemed like instead of re-charging me it was just using up precious mental and physical energy that I really needed to use for survival.

Recently I was talking to Frank Albrecht (he has a child with CFS, and also works as a psychiatrist) by email and he said that he'd found a similar thing:

Already found you can't use meditation with worn out people, it takes too much energy and they need to use what they have for other purposes.
-- Frank Albrecht

However, the idea of meditation - giving you a chance to slow down and take a spiritual "deep breath" from the world - is certainly a good thing. I might not do much physically but I do tend to fill up my time nonetheless, unless I'm really too sick I tend to be listening to the radio, or reading, or whatever, almost all the time.

Since the 'Real Thing' didn't seem to be working, I went about finding some alternatives to meditation ... this is what I came up with:

A note from Jenn Vespermann:

When I was trying to meditate, I found that I was using some of my brain activity to suppress (the awareness of) the chronic pain of CFS.

The act of meditation shut down the parts of the brain which were suppressing the awareness of pain - thus, meditation *HURT* and I couldn't explain why. (not untill I figured out what I was doing)

Meditation for me, therefore, involves becoming aware of the pain, accepting the pain, and trying to meditate *THROUGH* intense pain. Needless to say, this is very difficult and hardly relaxing.

Other people with CFS may find the same thing - meditation hurts and they can't explain why. This is my explanation.


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