... you search all over for your purse at work, calling security, checking your car in the parking lot and finally deciding it is gone for good, before realizing that it is hanging on the back of your chair...under your sweater. -- Cassie Selleck
... you do the "Tim Conway Shuffle" all the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. -- Cassie Selleck
... friends who ask, "why are you walking like an old lady?" are likely to get hit with your cane. -- Cassie Selleck
... you find yourself standing in the middle of the bathroom with an unopened packet of coffee and have no clue what you came there for. -- Cassie Selleck
... a sneeze paralyses you with the electric shock it sends down your arms. -- Cassie Selleck
... you realize that you are putting the salt away in the refrigerator. -- Carole Colquehoun
... you can't find your house keys - again - and realize you might have put them in a pocket as you came inside yesterday, but can't remember what you were wearing yesterday. -- Carole Colquehoun
... you are talking to someone on the phone, but can't remember who called whom (or why). -- Carole Colquehoun
... you use something out of a tube on your toothbrush and it isn't toothpaste. -- Carole Colquehoun
... you give up on your dog coming to you on command because you forgot her name. -- Windy Foster
... you go to take the clean dishes out of the washer and find your best sweater and pants that were to be on the hand washed cycle in the dishwasher. -- Bonnie
... you take your mother to the hospital and use the restroom, remarking to yourself how odd the women's restroom is in the hospital. On your way out, two men come in. -- Phyllis
... the only thing that doesn't hurt is not attached to your body. -- Nancy H
... you are at a fibromyalgia conference and you sit in the back and you see a room full of people flexing their necks at various times throughout the presentation. -- Nancy H
... you sit in front of the computer and intend to surf the web, but instead just stare at the welcome screen. -- Nancy H
... when people look at you and say "Your looking good." and you want to strangle them but your concerned that your hands will hurt too much. -- Nancy H
... your friends begin to quitely theorize with each other about what type of psychological "need for attention" problem you have. -- Nancy H
... you cannot find your paycheck. In a panic, you searched all over the house all night only to realize when you inquired in the business office the next day that you never picked up the paycheck. -- Elizabeth
... you use catnip spray to coat the pan instead of PAM then wonder why there is greenish smoke rising from the pan. -- Elizabeth
... you remove the dirty sheets from the mattress, then sleep on the bare mattress for several days because you are too exhausted to put in clean sheets. -- Elizabeth
... you introduce your friends, names backwards (their surrnames as first names, first names as surrnames) -- Elizabeth
... you take friends' words that they pay off their debts to you last night. -- Elizabeth
... you give the mailman a coupon, thinking it is a postcard. -- Elizabeth
... you Drive the wrong way on one way streets. You also drive the wrong way on two way streets. -- Elizabeth
... company is on the way over, and you spray air freshener around the house, only to discover afterward that you were spraying laundry "pre-wash" spray. -- Cindy Granke
... you get in the shower and all of a sudden everything is blurred. You panic and think you are going blind....only to learn you still have your now steamed up glasses on. -- Janis
... you look for your glasses for a good length of time only to find them on top of your head. -- Janis
... you order your food through a drive through and pay for it. You get home and don't have the food and have to drive back through and everyone who works there is cracking up as you request your food. -- Janis
... you dial a phone number and have no idea who is going to answer, or why you rang them in the first place. -- Liz
... you can hear the phone ringing, but can't remember where you left it. -- Liz
... your children check that you have your house keys before you go outside. -- Liz
... you spend ages trying to open the front door with your car key. -- Liz
... you come back from the shops with everything, apart from what you went out for in the first place. -- Liz
... hibernation seems like a really good way to live. -- Liz
... you take your son to work but forget to stop and let him out before heading home. -- Cheryl Pitts
... your husband tells everyone who may call "Tell my wife to write down the message word for word, then read it back to you" - or else they will never hear from us agian, because I forgot who called, what they wanted, etc. -- L A Petrisek
Additions to this page are welcomed! If have any lines that could be added, please email me so I can add them.
